Thursday, February 5, 2015

Moments in Motherhood

First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.
- Elder M. Russell Ballard

There really are so many things that I want to blog about but I feel like I have had a hard time getting very much time at once to sit down and blog.. 
And even though we have had some big events I feel like I have so many little "moments" that just melt my heart and I hope that I can remember during those times when I am exhausted {so wait pretty much.. always lately..).. and just remember forever.

Even though it seems like our house just can not stay clean anymore... We have this beautiful face, that whether it's spotless or not, makes it even more of a home.
And she is ours. She is mine.
I can't kiss those sweet round cheeks enough.. she is the sweetest softest best cuddler.

But I definitely am figuring out what I am doing as I go.. she gets to be my little guinea pig.
Annnd.. I get this face quite a few times during the day..
Lucky for me she can't talk yet or I'm sure I would get a lot of um.. really mom? 's. 

And it's so fun to watch her discover her own emotions and lately she has been so much more alert and interactive.. and of course not ALL of her emotions are happy..
But she has the cutest reactions and noises and smiles.

She definitely is not the most independent baby in the world..
Or the town.. or ya know our block probably even.

So this is what happens while I am doing my make up.. or cleaning.. or shopping.. or going anywhere.. or basically you name it.

And I blamed having family in town for so long to hold her but I feel that we haven't been doing very much to change this, 
Blake and I are such suckers for her and when we are with friends someone is always wanting to hold her.. so she is held.. quite often.

Which is good for my heart.. and bad for my back.


And even though it is so fun to have my cute little side kick.. some days it is a little hard when I don't feel like I am accomplishing all of the things that I wanted to.
{which is seeming to be always lately}
This was one of those days.. and finally when I started carrying her around in her little carrier she fell asleep and after we had been sitting down for a little bit she reached her hand over and just held onto my arm like she was hugging me. Kind of like mom this is all I wanted.
I know this probably isn't going to be quite as heart warming to anyone as it is to me but it was just what I needed to remind me what was really important during the day... and how lucky I was to be taking care of her.

Cuddling in our teal pants fix everything around here.

Blake won't match with me so I have to train Emery while she is young! haha

My little Em is the best errand runner {probably because she loves her little Bjorn carrier} but the other day we were out and it was SO cold for Texas..
And by so cold I mean like rainy and probably 30 degrees.. you know.
But she was being so good and we walked by this little baby sweatshirt and my heart just melted a little bit so of course since we had a gift card we needed it.
I keep thinking we could be in trouble having a girl first during this school phase of our life..
Babies are the funnest to dress.

And she seems to like being warm.. go figure.

I posted these pictures on Instagram the other week when we just had the longest day and I was exhausted more than I ever thought was possible.. but as I was sitting there holding her looking at pictures my heart was absolutely melting. 

There is nothing like feeling like you can make everything right in someone's world.

It makes me feel like when I am about to literally die I can keep going because she needs me too.
We have been pretty sick over here.. head colds.. sore throats.. runny noses. It seems like we just can't kick them. Probably because we can't get enough cumulative sleep to get over it and there were some nights at like 2 when she would cry at night to be fed and I would have to cry a little too..
She still is needing to eat about every 2 hours like clock work and I am praying that it will get a little bit longer soon.

But somehow in the morning when she wakes up and I go to pick her up and she smiles at me my heart skips a beat and I just want to squeeze her and kiss her and sleep seems so unimportant.
{too bad our bodies think they need it so badly.. huh }

Oh my gosh this kills me. There is a little mirror on the top of her swing and in the morning she will just smile and coo at herself like you wouldn't believe. It is the CUTEST thing in the world watching her discover new things and seeing her so happy and excited.
Oh how I wish I knew what was going on in that sweet little mind.

And these two.. they have such a sweet relationship already. Blake really is the sweetest dad.. always wanting to hold and play with Emery.. they dance around and do little tricks together. I think he is even more of a sucker than I am when it comes to holding her when she wants to be held. He is the best... 
I always knew he would be but it's fun to watch them together.
And he is so PATIENT.. which I am definitely voluntarily or not am getting more of lately.. 
but it's not something that comes as naturally for me.
I really couldn't have gotten through this last month and a half 
without him.. there are nights when I just feel like I can't move anymore or I just don't know how to cheer her up {no one takes pictures of those moments.. but I like to think they do happen to more than just us} and it feels like he comes home and saves us.

Just about everyday I think that I am so grateful that I waited until I was married to have a baby so that she could have such a wonderful dad and how BLESSED we are to be in a position where we can take care of her and I can stay home and raise her..
I genuinely feel like it's the most important thing I will do in this life and such a sweet blessing.

 I would also just like to note that her sleeping is the funniest.. I'm glad that she is a remarkable multi tasker and takes this opportunity of nap time to get an arm work out in.

 My little girlfriend you've got me wrapped around these little fingers.You are so perfect.
Just teach me how to fix your gassy tummy and sleep through the night and I don't think I could be happier about this mommy/daughter thing going on.

We don't get any where on time anymore.. 
{it was a rare thing before anyway so we can probably work with that}
And we do more loads of laundry than I thought would ever be necessary 
{but who knows what fluids are on my clothes at the end of the day..}
And Blake and I may have colds for the rest of our lives because we can never rest enough to get over it..
But my heart/life feels so much more full than it did before somehow.

Thank you for letting me kiss you 1000 times a day and thank you for being patient with me while I figure out this mommy thing.. 
Thank you for being mine.

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