Thursday, October 24, 2013

The Blessing of Trials

I'm sorry that it's been so long since I've last blogged!
Life has been kind of a lot for me lately..
& I kind of vowed to myself that I wasn't going to talk about it with anyone.. but recently I just have been having the strongest impressions that we really do
experience every trial for a reason.
And if my reason for going through something that is hard for me is so that I can help someone else then it is a blessing for both of us and something I need to talk about.
So life for us lately... Blake and I WERE pregnant..
[This is when I told Blake the big news, I had my test wrapped up and had him open it thinking it was a present.. hence the camera set up.. haha]
We actually would have been 13 weeks pregnant so a few months but a few weeks ago something went wrong [I guess in the baby's genes] and our baby stopped developing.
So last Monday afternoon we went into the hospital because I was bleeding and they told us that something in the development process had stopped and the baby wasn't growing...
{& It was nothing that we could have had any control over through eating, excersise, or anything else.. it was just a problem with it's genes and the way Heavenly Father wanted it}
And we wouldn't be having a "normal" pregnancy this time in our life.
 To say that we were hurt/sad/disappointed I don't think completly would explain everything.
I definitely will probably always have a raw spot on my heart when it comes to this experience in our life..
 & like my Mom suggested I think that I will just love and be grateful for the babies that I will have that much more.
This experience has also brought me so much closer to Blake, I don't know what we would do without each other.. I can't believe I can love someone so much.
And as my body has been experiencing all of these changes and struggles he has been nothing less than perfect to me waiting on me hand and foot.. and worrying to death.
You are the best best friend I could ever ask for babe.
I can't think of anything I am much more excited for than being a mom.. but I have faith that when it is supposed to happen Blake and I will be blessed to be parents.
BUT until then.. the real reason I wanted to write this post is because I have gained an even stronger testimony that,..
We can not be the people that we are meant to be without trials and challenges.. and that God would never give us a hardship that we couldn't handle and that wouldn't make us better.
This is much easier to say when you are not EXPERIENCING a trial but I believe with all my heart that trials are blessings. Without them we would never become better.
We were not put on this earth to float along through life we are meant to experience opposition so that we can grow stronger.
"How grateful we should be that a wise Creator fashioned an earth and placed us here that we might experience a time of testing, an opportunity to prove ourselves in order to qualify for all that God has prepared us to recieve."
 -President Thomas S. Monson
I also want to say that as heartbreaking as life can be.. happiness is a choice.
You can choose to be happy and be grateful for all of the wonderful blessings that you DO have.
If you are experiences hard times it's because God trusts that you can become better and trusts that you are ready to grow, and although I am so sad I have hope that this is why we are here and I am grateful for the opportunity to become a more excellent person.
I also want to say THANK YOU.. for the good family and friends that we have.
 I love you all with all of my heart.